The end of a decade..

Today, on the last day of 2019, of the year, and of the decade, I'm the happiest that I've ever been. And although today is truly the end of an era, I am not looking at 2020 like a "fresh start". I've learned that the start of this journey was long ago, and there isn't an end point. This is my life, and I'll spend the rest of it working to be the happiest, healthiest me I can be.

Some of the other things I accomplished this year:

1. As of 12/31/19, I am down 30 lbs. It's the most I've lost EVER in an attempt at weight loss. I'm down a pant size, and that's never happened either. Though I have a long way to go, I'm really happy with my progress. I've put my fitness first, and I've gotten my splits back after 15 years!

2. I successfully took my first maintenance break for December, and for the first time, arguably EVER, I didn't gain a pound over the holidays. In fact, I've lost consistently held steady since mid- November.

3. I said "yes" to spending the rest of my life with my best friend in the world. We've begun planning our wedding and it's coming so much easier and so much better than we were ever told. I've learned of a love that hasn't existed for me before now. I attribute much of my personal growth to his love and support.

4. I traveled to 3 states, 5 cities for burlesque this year. This includes my first festival, 9 shows, and 2 private gigs. Actively performing for only 6 of the 12 months, these numbers are AMAZING for me. I'm so proud of the progress and connections I've made.

5. I've found an online community that I love, and am hoping to work for in the near future. They are another huge attribution to my progress.

6. MOST importantly, I've grown so much in my communication, mental health, coping skills, boundaries, and I'm more confident articulating my needs and wants. I have learned to say no, that I'm not selfish for wanting to put myself first.

7. I've re-established multiple familial relationships that had been lacking over the last couple of years.

Now, 2020 is coming. And it's going to be a continuation of 2019. Here's what I hove planned:

1. Financial Freedom! I know that I've mentioned this one before, but I'm getting serious with paying down debt, closing excessive accounts, and finally feeling like I can breathe. At the end of 2020, I want to be able to put more and more money toward my PASSIONS in life, which are traveling, living in a home with lots of fur babies, and all the toys my babe and I want, including a boat and a camper (!!!). I'm already working hard to make progress, and I can't wait to not be held back by my debt anymore!

2. Continued weight loss. My progress has made me more motivated and confident than I've ever felt before. I am learning to move the car forward with weight loss, and put it in park with maintenance breaks, but never to throw it in reverse. I'm getting a regular gym routine down. I'm meeting all kinds of non-scale victories and have so many more down the road. I am so EXCITED for where my journey is taking me.

3. Continue to build family bonds. I have a lot on my plate with my dad and my paternal grandparents. It's time to get all affairs in order so that we tragic things happen, we are prepared. I am committed to making my relationship with them as mutually loving and beneficial as possible. I'm also going to expand my heart to allow more of my family in. Not all family members deserve it, but many do.

4. Create a social life. I have a hard time working social engagements in to my schedule. It's a priority for 2020.

5. Continue work on mindset, especially on boundaries and ego. I'm trying to learn to separate emotions from facts in all aspects of life. I want to set firm boundaries around certain toxic people and behavior, and learn to become logical in all aspects. Emotions have their place, and it's not in everything.

That's it! All the buckets, that I'm dropping my water into. I hope you'll stick around and join me on my journey. I hope you all have a safe NYE, and I'll see you all next year!

Thanks for reading!