Men: 5 Tips to Not Look Like a Creep in the Gym

So I've been spending a lot of time at the gym lately. I used to DREAD the gym. I gave every excuse I could think of to avoid going. "I don't have time", "It's too hard", "I'm not making progress so what's the point?" just to name a few. But the last six months, as I've seen my body become stronger and I've gotten more comfortable being in ALL areas of the gym, it's become a sort of sanctuary, a home away from home. It's where I go when I've had a rough day to de-stress. It's where I go to FIND motivation, and it's where I get my healthy dose of empowerment.

And you know what? I used to eat to de-stress. And once I started getting my eating under control, I started sitting a lot, binging Netflix. THAT was my escape from a stressful muggle world. When work was rough, or my relationship was har, I'd park my ass in front of the television and lose my entire evening in a cheesy reality show. My point is, I've never stuck to a healthy habit this long, and I'm proud of the progress I've made and how far I've come.

That being said, I've recently had some seriously uncomfortable encounters with men, and I've read from other women of the irritating things they've had to put up with as well. They all seem to settle on several common issues, so I thought I would address them here. I'm not sure if it's a total lack of self awareness, or if it's a chauvinist personality trait that men are born with, but it's not only distracting and disrespectful, but it's also rude. I've broken these traits and encounters into five tips for not coming off like a total creep, or douchebag while at the gym!:

1. NEVER choose the spot right next to us.

After I workout, I take about 30 minutes to stretch. It's been a big focus of mine over the last year to increase my flexibility and get my splits back for my show biz side gig. It's been a long, slow process but I enjoy doing it, and it makes me feel more grounded and centered. There's a back corner of the gym that allows for stretching. It's actually two long walls but it comes to a corner, and that's my favorite spot. It's set up in a way that only one person is able to be there comfortably, and it's away from most other things so I can focus and really work.

Comfortable for one person right? So I sit down and just get into the zone to have a good stretch. It's getting kind of busy, and a guy comes over and sits next to me. It wasn't uncomfortably close, but I still thought it was odd because there were still other spots available. But I shake it off and get my focus back, and others start to get up and leave the stretching area. Then, a second guy comes up and sits RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME on my other side. I could have reached out and touched him. And there weren't any other people along that wall!

WHY?

Why do men feel the need to sit right next to a woman? Did you just not notice that I was sitting there and you would be that close? Maybe you then sat down, realized how close it was, but didn't want to be awkward and move? Just STOP. Stop sitting that close to a woman. It's just one of those things. Those things that most men shouldn't have to think about, but because a few have messed it up, now they have too. You HAVE to have the self awareness to not get that close to a woman. It IS because you're a man. If a woman sat that close to me, it'd be different. If you sat next to a man, that would be different. It's extremely uncomfortable for a woman.

Other examples of this would be sitting on the machine directly next to a woman when there are others open, and standing, alone or a group really close to a machine that a woman is using.

2. Stop asking us to remove our headphones to talk to us

I read an article once about a woman who kept getting interrupted at the gym by men who would ask her to remove her ear buds. Finally, one day, another woman, wearing the big, old school headphones, tuned her into the fact that men don't bother her as much because she is wearing the big bulky headphones and not earbuds. She then proceeded to talk about how she bought the same bulky headphones, and sure enough, the interruptions stopped.

She had to deal with the constant slipping of the headphones down her head, in order to tune out the incessant requests to talk, probably about something that you have no business discussing or asking.

Your assumption that we would want to interrupt our workout to talk to you about anything is absolutely appalling. That we would not only think that's okay, but would welcome that kind of attention is an insult to the woman herself. The woman, and the woman alone is who gets to decide what kind and how much attention we get.

3. No, we don't need you to mansplain how to use the machine

Along the lines of my last tip, typically men want us to stop our workout and take out our headphones so that you can explain to us how to use a machine. Or tell us we're using too much weight, or need to put on more weight or WHATEVER you feel like you need to tell us all the time. As with most things, you must feel that your opinion is wanted and more important than any knowledge we have about our workout.

I know you usually are trying to help, but to a woman in the gym, who already faces multiple stereotypes and challenges, it seems that you deem any knowledge we have of our bodies and workout needs as less than yours. You seem to feel perpetually like you need to "save us from ourselves". This isn't a Disney movie. If we aren't asking you, you can safely assume we don't want your tips. There are trainers for a reason. sheesh!

And stop acting like women don't belong in the free weight section. We see you staring at us as we do dumbbells curls with 5 pound weights, judging and silently wishing we'd go back to the machine. You all know the benefits of free weights over machines, so stop acting like we shouldn't be there.

4. Give us space

Okay, one more story. I was working out on a machine, and a man kept walking laps in between sets. This would have been fine, except he was walking so close to me that he was brushing against me EVERY time he walked by. This, along with checking what weight I was using and just making eye contact in general, made things VERY uncomfortable.

Can we all agree that having our personal space invaded is uncomfortable? Right. So why would it be okay to get in my personal space while we're both gross from working out, don't know each other, and are working on two totally different things? It would have even been better if he was waiting for the machine I was one. Nope! Literally just creepy.

STOP! Again, no person with a sense of self awareness would think this is "normal" behavior. And you aren't a superior being to think that my discomfort means less than your oblivion.

5. We aren't checking you out!

Lastly, when we make eye contact with you, we are NOT checking you out! What makes you think that all woman think you are attractive? Are you attracted to all women? NO? It goes both ways! We also take breaks in between sets, and have two eyes that need to look somewhere. Sometimes panning the room we may make eye contact. It doesn't mean we want to jump your meat head, ass sweat having bones! Please don't flatter yourself!

The bottom line is, have the self-awareness and knowledge of personal space enough to know that people don't like to be talked down to or to be encroached on. Usually they just want to be alone with their music and a weight bench. It'd be nice if woman could do that in peace without all these things happening on the regular.

I guess that's it for now. Thanks for making it through my rant!

Until next time,