Sometimes You Just Need a Little Vitamin D

Hey! It's my first post of 2019. To say I've been busy is the biggest understatement. But I also started writing more on my weight-loss community's thread, which allows a personal journal, and I created a page on facebook that accounts for most of my days-to-day struggles and accomplishments. That being said, I wanted to just post this as a post to my page, and then realized that it would either be extremely long, or my post wouldn't do what I had to say justice because I would have cut it down.  So...  I wanted to write about my experience with Vitamin D and how it literally turned my whole outlook around today, but before I can accurately do that, I want to explain all that has been going on in my life right now, so you can get an accurate picture of just how impactful it was. So I have a lot of things going on right now. I'm going to briefly go over them first:  1. My job issued a Voluntary Separation Program (VSP) in September, where people could take a severance package and leave the company. There are 3 waves of people leaving, one on Dec 28th, 2018, one on March 22nd, 2019 and one on June 28th, 2019. A LOT more people took it than expected, especially on the management level in my department. Because of this, there have been a lot of changes. Who I report to, my team, my portfolio, and policies are all changing. My customer base has done a 180, and we are learning new policies, systems, and processes. Meanwhile there are a ton of new hires and management coming in, and new conformance policies being introduced (surprise, surprise, corporate life!). It's been really hard to wrap my head around everything and still meet my goals.  2. I start school next week. I decided while at my job I would go back and get my master's degree because they will pay for it, and then use my current position as a stepping stone to find a career path I want to work moving forward long-term. I'm only taking one class at a time, and it's all online, but that takes discipline and time, obviously.  3. Most of you close to me know that my dad was hit by a car 10 years ago while walking down the street, and now suffers STML and has to live in a non-geriatric facility for patients with brain trauma. When it happened, I became his legal guardian as his only adult child (he wasn't married) when I was a sophomore in college. That was too much for a full time student, so I turned the rights over to my grandparents. Well, my grandparents are now pushing 80, and my grandpa has Alzheimer's so bad that he doesn't know who I am without my grandma explaining it to him. I have started to work with my grandma to get the paperwork in order to take over as guardian when something happens to her. That has meant more trips to my dad's facility and to my grandparents, many calls and paperwork, as well as court dates and signatures. I also am trying to repair my relationships with my grandparents and heal from my past with my dad so that I can have a relationship with him as well.  4. I am going to be out of town 3 of the next 4 weekends. And while I knew that because I planned the trips, and am looking forward to them, it has thrown a wrench in our routine. The weekend is when we do laundry, meal prep for the week, and just veg out, plus its when we hang out with friends, go do things, or spend time with each other.  5. My partner is coming to a crossroads in his job. They are short by a couple of people, and he is works 50-60 hour weeks right now. On top of that, he has switched shifts, so we rarely see each other. He's seriously considering switching to a new job, so that is another layer of stressor.  6. We have a friend who is trying to get out of a manipulative relationship with someone so vindictive and conniving that it's been kicking and screaming the entire time. We took him under our wing and helped him disconnect by changing his contact info, debit card, etc, and coming up with a plan to get her out of the house. He's been out our place for about 10 days and I'm not sure when he's leaving. That in itself is fine, but I have a professional relationship with her, so she's been trying to attack my and my partner's character, and it's really taking a toll.  NOW..,  With all that in mind, I have been exhausted, stressed, and just emotional. It's all I could do to stay afloat and not just curl in a ball in bed all day (and some mornings I do it anyway!). I suffer from seasonal depression and I definitely feel like it was inflated because of all the issues mentioned above.  Today, I woke up with the worst migraine. I am plagued with one every couple of months, and had a prescription that has since ran out and I just never went to have it filled. I typically cannot handle light, sound, and just sleep until it goes away. I battled going to work so long I was running late, I ruined my smoothie so it was inedible, almost walked out without my phone, and forgot I had to get gas. Got harassed for money while pumping gas and was so over it today that I was just a crying mess by that point. My partner said to come home, as it felt like the universe was continuing to hit me in the face until I went back to bed.  I slept until about 9am and then couldn't sleep anymore. I took meds, ate, had water and caffeine, and nothing worked. Then about an hour after I got up, the cramps started for my cycle. I was so relieved that I didn't go to work at that point. Clearly this helped explain the migraine, and the emotional mess from this morning. After he left for work, I forced myself to get up and get a walk in, because I knew that the walking would help the cramps, and the vitamin D would help my mood. I got a water, put on my podcast in my headphones, and headed to the park by my house.  I walked for 1.5 hours, and almost 4 miles. I took my time, and I didn't follow a typical path I would take, but went off the path many times to admire or take picture, or turned down ones I had never used before. I stopped to admire the gorgeous buildings, the budding flowers, and took pictures of all the new life springing up around me. So many people were out running, or walking their dogs, or with babies. I went through a bird garden I've been wanting to see since I moved here. I stopped and admired geese and birds.  Spring is my favorite time of year. Everything comes to life, and greens up. The birds and animals and humans come back to life after a winter of hibernation. It's a time of cleansing and rebirth. I've always connected with spring and feel like it's a result of the healing of winter. And you know what? The headache went away, my mood lifted, and my cramps eased. Aside from the physiological reasons, I know that vitamin D is important for those with seasonal depression. But I've never noticed that large of a difference before. I seriously decided that I need to get outside as much as possible this year. I suddenly wanted to swim, hike, and even run!  I have been feeling the wanderlust a lot lately, and today solidified that I need to spend as much time as possible outside and doing things to connect with nature. It was really eye-opening just how much I have been lacking the feeling of being grounded in nature. I also realized how much I need that. I plan on doing some more research on this, because it really surprised me, but by the time I was done, I felt like I could conquer anything, and that it was all going to be okay.  Here are a couple of photos I took, I hope you enjoy!  Thank you for reading.